Ugh.
I was looking through photos just a bit ago. I came across the pics from when we moved from Florida to Rowlesburg. We moved into my Nanny and Pops old house. Oh, I was so elated to be back. I LOVED Rowlesburg SO MUCH. We settled into a routine rather easily. I am SO grateful we had that time there. I loved getting my kidlet on the bus each morning. I would then take a nice long walk down across the white bridge.. I would follow the old tracks to the trestle.. I would sit and watch the creek flow for awhile.. and then continue on around to the mainline and follow the tracks across the black bridge, stopping to take in the mighty Cheat River. I would then walk on home. I was so so grateful to be back in this place, even though almost every one that made it so special to me was now gone. I miss those walks. I miss them SO MUCH.
I can never thank my family enough for that opportunity. I do not speak to any of them these days, which is really sad.

Anyway. I had a dream the other night that we moved back there and into the old house. However, my Nanny’s kitchen has been removed. All of the cabinets, counter tops, and such now reside in another house in town. That makes me happy.. however, in regard to the dream… we move back in and I simply cannot deal as my Nanny’s kitchen was the heart of that house. So, we had to rebuild the kitchen. It was nice. But it was not Nanny’s kitchen.

I know it is just a house. For me though, being as sentimental as I am, it is SO MUCH more than that. As much as I do not want to see that home be torn down, I just wish it would happen already. The current owner has stated that that is what he intends to do.. yet it has been years. The house just sits there in a state of decay that eats me up every single time I see it. Just take it down already. As hard as that will be for me… I just kinda want it done.

This is why I should not look through photos when I am bored and cannot sleep. Oy. I am now a sobbing, ridiculous mess. I miss the old days. I miss that house, filled with people that I love…

I miss them all so very very much….

One thought on “Down the Rabbit Hole

  1. I’m glad you have so many sweet memories and so sorry they bring you sadness these days. It’s a hard path to navigate…the what was and the what is and the what will be. I love your soft heart.

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