The past

I am not sure why I felt the need to purge memories, but it was overwhelming and I think I can stop now. Or not… hah!

I think it was actually triggered by my cat. We had to have one of our cats put to sleep in June. She was so sick and we couldn’t make her better. 

Our other cat clearly misses her, as do we. He goes to her hidey spots looking for her and it makes me sad. 

So I was sitting at the table one day and he started looking for her and it just got me thinking how sad it is that we die and the world just keeps on going. Like we don’t matter.

Where does time go? I’ve had dreams where there are other earths, or dimensions, maybe, that contain time like a card catalogue. Every moment is there… 

I’m often surprised at the random stuff that pops into my head.. memories of long ago moments, that some times leave me feeling empty and sad.

Life changes so fast. I’ve had so many seasons in my 44 years. 

And while my life now is just fine (other than feeling stagnant personally), some times I just wish that I was still sitting around the table with my friends, drinking beer and playing our crazy version of Monopoly, while listening to Tom Petty. Or sitting in my Nan’s kitchen while she cooked breakfast, listening to my pop’s spoon clank in his mug as he stirred…

Those moments were the best. 

The little things…. Walking up on the porch on chilly fall days and smelling the chili my dad had simmering on the stove, or the smell of my mom’s banana bread as it came out of the oven. The anticipation of hanging out with my best friend on a Saturday, or coming home and scooping up my cat and plopping down on my waterbed and snuggling with her till she bit me… lol. Or when my dad would ask me to watch a movie with him. Or Mom asking me to go shopping with her… 

These moments are just as defining as the BIG things, I think.  💕

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