Rediscovery

The day it all changed.

August 11, 2021.

August 11 was my original due date for my kidlet. I had to have them forcefully evicted a week beyond that day… but I digress. August 11, 2021, I was watching an episode of America’s Got Talent. That is one of those shows that I will watch when there is nothing else on.

I will forever be grateful for watching on that day. That was the day that Nightbirde auditioned. I would assume you know who that is, lest ye have been under a rock for the last year!

I, like millions of others, were completely captivated by her. First, her voice, and her song, reduced me to a sobbing mess. Then, when talking to Simon after she sang, she said, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to be happy.”

Man. It was like being hit in the face with a cinderblock. BOOM! That ONE sentenced changed me. And I am sure it did for many others. This was when I really started to evaluate my life. My existence. This, is when I realized just how out of balance I had become. It was a turning point, for sure.

When she died, I was crushed. I mean, it just isn’t fair to take such a light, such a radiant and positive, beautiful, love-filled light from this existence. I was sad at first. Then, I got mad. Really mad. Unreasonably mad. I mean, it isn’t like I knew her or something! I felt like I did, though. Because after that audition, I followed along with her on social media. And you could see it coming. She was so positive, but you could see it coming. And then, it did. And I was lost.

After I got over my anger of her passing, I got back on track. I made myself remember what it was that made her so special to me. So, I got back to trying to find myself. I got back to finding my joy. LIfe was never gonna ease up, so I had to find my happy. It is a work in progress…

Thank you Jane, for changing my path. I love you for that, you beautiful soul. I hope that wherever you are, it is as amazing as you.

Hi. I am Jen. I lost myself for awhile. Here is where I talk about trying to find myself, trying to be better in all aspects of life. I am moody, unpredictable, opinionated, a realist (who really struggles with being a realist), loving, caring, kind, and mostly laid back. I love my family beyond measure. I try to treat others as I wish to be treated. I do not tolerate bigotry, racism, and or hatred.. you get nasty, you get blocked. I do not engage. Just be nice.. ;)

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.