Friends

I was just reading a Reddit post about shit things that “friends” have done to people.

Some of them were really awful. I can relate.

Our friend M, cut us off after he called me and said that T and I needed to come to a cabin on the Shenandoah that he had rented on an upcoming weekend. We were struggling a bit financially, so he said it was all covered by him and to just show up. Well, we couldn’t do that. My mom had just literally (that day) come home from rehab after a hip replacement AND we had just got a dog that still needed a bit of training. My mom was not stable enough to be left alone, never mind with a dog that needed to be let in and out all the time. I explained all this to him. He yelled at me. He told me that he didn’t know why I was still with my hubby, as our relationship was toxic
( at the time, it WAS. We had a rough year that year ), and that he was just trying to “give us a break” …

My troubles with hubby had nothing to do with not being able to take the trip, but each time we spoke, that is what it came down to. He sent me a scathing text, and never spoke to me again.

Another “friend” I had, who was a ray of sunshine in my life, cut me off hard. I have no idea why. Just unfriended me one day. When I messaged asking why, she blocked me across all social media platforms. That one hurt pretty bad.

My BFF for years was supposed to be best man at my first wedding. He backed out about 2 weeks before the wedding, then did not even show up. We did not speak for about a year. When he finally decided to come see me, he told me that he could not stand by and watch me marry R. Apparently, he had feelings for me, and I was clueless. Still, not being at my wedding cut pretty deep. We talked it out and moved on and are still friends to this day.

Most recently I found out that a “friend” apparently sits around and talks shit about me and my life, and it got shared with my kid. I am not okay with this. I am both seething mad and crushed. I confided in her about many things. She is also in no position to judge. No one is, really. T and I have had a lot of struggles over the years. We have waded through it all because we love each other, and you fight for who you love, especially when they cannot fight for themselves.

I know I am not a perfect person. I have gossiped, and had people I care about find out. Not a proud moment. I have not always been there when a friend may have needed me. Some times I let negativity take hold, and that puts people off. I lose perspective some times. But the folks who truly care always set me right again, and for that I am so extremely grateful.

On the flip side of that, the question asked was, “What is the best thing you’ve ever done for a friend?”

And I have to smile. Years ago, I met a gal on the internets. We chatted a lot, and we followed each others blogs and such. We had not yet met in person, but had planned on it since were not too far from each other. She ended up needing a brain tumor removed. Non cancerous, thankfully. I went to see her in the hospital. I think T went with me that day… So, long story short, she gets pregnant with twins, they were born early, but did well, and a short time later, they needed to be out of their apartment. They had a condo to move to, but work was being done on it and the apartment complex was not allowing them to stay. They had no family nearby. They literally had nowhere to go, with two small babies (they were 3 or 4 months old).. I remember sitting on the couch talking to T and telling him how I was worried for her and her wee fam, and that I wished we could help somehow. T said, “Tell them they can come here if they don’t mind being crammed into the back bedroom..”

My heart overflowed. I couldn’t wait to tell her! They stayed with us for about 4 months. We grew close in that time together and remain close to this day. Boys are teens now,… fine young men. I consider them all to be part of our family.

They are in FL and we are here and I miss them terribly.